Finishing First in the Middle of the Fleet

By Skipper's logic, we're winning this race

I'm worried that Skipper is losing it.

We've been on a roll for the past two weeks.  Two weeks ago, we had a really good week at the races. This weekend we raced with 23 other Sunfish, which was awesome. The wind was perfect, and we didn't make any really bad sailing mistakes.  We finished first in all of our races. We haven't finished any lower than 2nd in three weeks.

Skipper has been treating me really nicely. He has been really gentle with his tacks and gybes, and we're actually starting to roll tack. Most important, he has stopped yelling at me. He yells at the wind now, which worries me. All weekend he was obsessed with keeping up with a skipper named Dave. And when we talk about where we finished in races, he babbled incoherently about "alternate scoring" and "parallel universes".

According to Skipper, both of these statements are true:

• We won 8 out of 9 races races this weekend and came in first for the regatta
• We finished in the middle of the fleet for the regatta

Unless we sailed the course so that the same number of boats were always to the right and left of us, for the life of me I can't see how we finished in the middle of the fleet. We brought home a trophy that says "First Place", but skipper says we finished behind this elusive "Dave". Actually, there were two skippers named Dave, and Skipper says he finished behind both of them. How can you finish behind someone when you finish first?

I think Skipper is sailing with his rudder up