Does this Leak Make me Look Fat?

I might be a looker, but leaks are deceiving!

I'm Sunfish 3929, and I'm a leaker.

No not the kind the NSA doesn't like, the kind that Sunfish skippers don't like. Worse yet, I'm  Binge Leaker.  Sometimes I let in a lot of water during races. It's not all the time, and I don't know how I end up this way sometimes, but I do.  One race I'm going along just fine, dry as a bone, and the next I'm wallowing up to my chines in "moveable ballast".

I hate being a leaker, but I can't help it. At first it cools off my hull, but after I get a few gallons in me it makes me really slow, and tippy. I do really bad roll tacks and downwind death rolls.  Then I start to feel like a old workboat. I can't move and Skipper doesn't like it when I'm that way. Sometimes when I get back to shore, Skipper has to open my drain plug and tip me over so I can be sick. Sometimes he even has to pump out my hull between races. Then I have to bake in the sun for a couple of days to dry out.

I don't know what to do. I've had negative bubble test after negative bubble test. I can hold water in my cockpit and in my mast tube for days. Then once in a while, Boom!  water sloshing through my hull like it was the ocean. I think I may need to see a specialist.